No ... this is why *you're* fat.

I'm pregnant! Asshole!

Eating is the new smoking.

It's always so attractive to see people enjoying the opportunity to be scornful.

That page makes my heart hurt :(

Y'know, I've never really felt the need for a unicorn chaser before, but this... this comes close.

I ♥ food porn.

I can thankfully say I have never had any of those, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't try some of the "healthier" ones. God only knows which ones those would be.

I understand it's for entertainment value, but the really sad thing is that none of the photos need to be this extreme. Just a package of Kraft Singles or a pizza pocket would be enough, and much closer to the truth.

So yummy looking...

I'm fat, but I've never had any of these items before. I feel like I'm missing out.

Also, the "Meta-Pizza" from page 2 is ripped from an Onion podcast from a few years back: "Pizza Hut's New Pizza-Lover's Pizza Topped With Smaller Pizzas".

Honestly, I would try some of these if it wasn't for all the sauce, chilli or cheese glopped over everything.

But surely... anything this delicious couldn't be bad for you. Now could it?

My heart just slowed down looking at those pics.

and @Allen, I see what you did there. Do you?

I like their motto: "Food, folks, and triple by-passes"

"The Slinger" truly looks like a plate a vomit.

@3 exactly.

@MDH
yup. it's true I am a hypocrite about that- but unapologetically so, much like I am intolerant of intolerance.

The horror...the horror...

Most of that stuff made me want to vomit. But man, I've gotta have some of that chicken skin!

Scotch eggs are a delicacy. Don't know why you'd put 'em on a stick though.

Just for the record, what makes you fat in this series of pictures is not the fat so much as the carbs.

The fat just gives you heart attacks.

I love that tumblr dearly ... I just wish they were less rights grabby:

"You agree that when you send a Submission via email or upload to this Website, you grant Thisiswhyyourefat.com and its owners a non-exclusive, irrevocable, royalty-free license to use the work. We may use, copy, sublicense, adapt, transmit, distribute, publish, display or otherwise use it as we see fit, in our sole discretion. By making a Submission, you waive the right to make any claim against Thisiswhyyourefat.com, its owners or any of its respective parents, subsidiaries, affiliates, employees, agents, directors or officers."

And yes, they are looking a book deal.

Urgh, people really eat like that? Almost everything there looks utterly unapetising. I thought I was unhealthy for having last night's chinese takeaway leftovers for lunch today, but it appears I am a health freak compared to that lot.

@allen - no offense intended, cleverly done.

I dunno, that bacon, ham, sausage, hotdog, bacon sausage, and pork belly creation sounds kinda tasty...

#6: Deep fried unicorn?

I was pretty dang fat a couple years ago. Now I'm not. Not by dieting, not by an exercise regime.
I control my life by trends, because our lives are governed by trends anyway, so we may as well have a say in it.
I still eat all the same stuff; I just eat less of the bad crap- like one strip of bacon. Three cookies instead of thirty. I simply created a trend of eating less of the crap, and smaller meals. And more cereal. I think it's like tiny brooms sweeping the gunk out of my innards.

most of this doesn't even look like american food abominations. the only thing i found interesting was the loaf-of-many-birds...i think it said it has breast meat from 48 different types of birds!

@20 It's the calories.

I am by no means immune to the charms of men with some meat on their bones, but I am not going to kiss someone whose breath smells like Fryolator grease and corn syrup. That food is just gross.

I believe the correct name for the leftmost item is "meatbread"

I admit to being personally responsible for the Corndog Pizza. Allow me to testify. It was delicious.

How can you deny the beauty of the Taco Town Taco? Look at that, it's genius. This is human ingenuity at its finest.

Or the twinkie weiner sandwich (though its precise and correct name is the twinkie weiner-dog sandwich and the mug of milk for dipping is missing), how can you not love that?

And yet I'd rather attempt to eat any one of these abominations than have "Better Than Cream Cheese" touch my tounge ever again.

i second the request for a unicorn. that stuff is sick. bleh...

good to see a twinkie wiener sandwich on the list. i am totally watching UHF this weekend!

#26

When you go from 30 cookies to 3 cookies, that IS dieting.

Food Porn...*drool*

>"...When you go from 30 cookies to 3 cookies, that IS dieting."

Technically, whatever you eat is your diet.
I just meant that I hadn't eliminated anything. My point was that lifestyle trends can be more effective than attempts at drastic self deprivation.

Yes, those things will make you fat.

No, not for the reasons that everyone thinks.

Meat is not bad for you. Neither is fat, for that matter. I am hopeful that someday Americans will have a better understanding of nutrition, including a healthy fear of easily digestible carbohydrates.

It'll happen, someday.

The meat-in-loaf was made in the UK! (You can tell by the socket in the background.) I was hoping it was all American.

Most of those things make me feel ill, I don't think I could eat more than a mouthful of most of them.

Wow, the link has been...Boing Boing'd :)

I wouldn't even know where to purchase some of the things listed. Just looking at some of the pictures makes one sick :(

I'd totally eat snickers pie.

Fried guacamole. Oh happy day.

Am I the only one who thinks that all those things look particularly nasty and disgusting?

Of course, that could be because I'm vegan and all those things seem to contain either meat, eggs or milk.

hells to the yeah food

I've had that page bookmarked for nearly a month. Whenever I have a craving for junk food, I visit it. Seems to work for me, but I'm far from big in the first place -- I just have a bad diet.

My God, it's full of brown!

Really you had a problem with the meat loaf cake?

Really?

Damn Haters

More for me

the only thing missing from that blog is recipes.

I am now fatter just for having looked.

My arteries are clogging up just looking at this massive calorie demolition of heart failure.

I kept hoping it would have a ranch-drenched cheese-and-tater-tots-and-blood-pudding stuffed deep-fried cows' heart, for symbolism's sake. Alas, I was disappointed.

Someone get on that, please.

Also: for some reason I feel fairly certain that site will be the only surviving piece of the internet in 500 years, which is why time travel to our era will be banned, which would explain all the lack of time travelers around.

You have to admit it makes an eerie kind of sense.

You know, it kinda does.

Alternately, we're living in the aftermath of the hugely complicated time travel paradox story that ends with a single fiendishly clever maneuver that wipes out all previous evidence of time travel.

Yes, there are tight restrictions on time travel, but they do it when they must intervene. Like with JFK. After he stood down the commies and made the missile boats return to Moscow, he got a big head, and invaded Cuba, then Kamchatka, and triggered World War Three, and 1/3 of the world's population was wiped out, and the fallout was slowly killing the oceans and flora. The Time Commitee had to intervene and sent a man back to take Kennedy out before the invasions.
Lincoln declared himself Monarch (at Mary's persistant nagging), the South revolted again and won, reinstated slavery, so they had to take Abe out. John Lennon, too. King of Newer York. Bang bang.

I'm sorry. That was way off topic. You're not supposed to know those things, so I'm being ordered to retract those statements and assure you that they were the nonsensical ramblings of a disturbed mind.
We return you now to discussion of obscenely indulgent cuisine.

Too late Troof. We're on our way.

/Setting time machine for Troof's house

Arkie- I suspected you were with them. I invited my evil twin over, while I lay low in the bunker. I just know you won't believe that, so Ha! Shoot him and save me the trouble- he's always infecting my hard drive with viruses from porn sites.

/Resetting coordinates to "Bunker".
/Awaiting Time Target confirmation.

HA! I've got no evil twin, but I've got a bunker now! ...except that our kitchen is falling into it. Dang.

/Fuck it.. I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

I'll stand on the front lawn and catch it if you'll ride the bomb like Slim Pickins. d8^)

I don't get the deep fried guacamole. Whats the point of that?

Bacon chocolate chip cookies and Baconaise both delicious...I want to try.

The Great Old Ones raise humans as food for the Shoggoths. That is “Why You're Fat”.